I’ve just finished reading A Little life by
Hanya Yanagahara, and the tears cannot stop falling. I don’t think I’ve ever
read something so profound, so heart-shattering, soul-breaking, brutally
emotional and beautifully written.
I first heard about the novel from an
interview with Benedict Cumberbatch, who praised it as a “wonderful, amazing
book.” But I avoided buying it for two reasons. One was that it is the size of
a brick, and second was the reviews: “The most depressing book you’ll ever
read.”
To read something this long and apparently
this depressing is a big commitment. But then I heard other people praise it:
Literary agents, fellow writers and students of creative writing. So I went out
and bought it.
And the reviews were not lying when they said
how depressing and heart-breaking it was.
The story is about the friendship between
four boys; Willem, Malcolm, JB and Jude. Willem is an aspiring actor, handsome
and kind; Malcolm is a professional architect, JB is a painter, and Jude is a
lawyer. The first chapter begins from the point of view of the first three, but
gradually, it is made clear that Jude is the protagonist of the story –
secretive, increasingly and irreparably broken, and tormented by the unspeakable abuse he
suffered as a child, his teenage years and his midlife. Though his adoptive
parents, friends and boyfriend love him unconditionally, he still can’t
refrain from cutting himself in order to feel alive.
I was sobbing, literally sobbing at various parts of the book, thinking “Why,
oh why did this happen? Why can’t these characters be happy? Why can’t you give
them a break?”
It made me want to throw the damn book
against the wall. But I admired what the author had done: created such an
empathetic portrayal of life, and how life can define you or how you define
it. I also loved how the characters were
both racially and sexually ambiguous and how it portrayed gay relationships
with such tender and passionate love, as well as horrific circumstances,
something you don’t usually see in the media or literature.
I don’t know whether or not to recommend it
to people. It certainly is a magnificent, gorgeously written piece of work that
deserves all the praise it gets. But despite being easy to read because of its
structure and prose, it is by no means easy to get into its hard subject
matters, such as child rape and prostitution, domestic violence, self abuse and
relentless psychological suffering.
Still, I recommend it for being daring,
making a 700 + page novel entertaining all the way through, taking its audience
to a new level of empathy and caring for the characters, and hopefully in the
their own lives as well.
